veux pas dejuner, veux pas travailler

It's a lazy day. Sun is directly shining on my face as I am sitting in the library. I just want to relax, sans physics homework, sans thinking about the emotional turmoil that i have been through lately. I just want to relax and write to myself, not forciful. I have come across too many things i have to forcifully do. Laying my work in front of me, with a great unwillingness to combat with, I do them eventually under the highest pressure possible. Maybe it comes from my bike messenger days, in which every second is the deadline and I have to pace myself through, over and over and over again. I thought I have learned time management, but instead I have learned to work only under the highest pressure. It is true for my academical life in which i mostly procrastinate; it is also true for my love life in which I am building up my tension every single day until the predicted moment in the future where I burst and it won't be an desirable situation. Much is said about the pressure, I decide to take a natural way, a pro-active natural approach to things, accompanied with a list of things that lays in front of me:

- writing skill
- reading
- debating aka get points across
- paying attension / short term memory
- research opportunity
- internship opportunity
- physics and all the mess about math
- but above all, love, love, love.......in a sense including all kinds of love

wish me luck,as I seek a beam of light in the dark room