Social Appreciation I

A couple of things to say: Confidence is important it can change the sky color of Binghamton from dark gray to gray to blue; and social appreciation is important in the building of your confidence. Music has been a good mood buffer in my life and I gained some of the confidence back today by listening a series of inspirational and vehement music. My confidence, which was just built up, once again destroyed shortly after the english class when my paper grade is back. Once in a while I just want to cry out: hey, shut up your cake hole, I'm writing in my second language and you prolly don't know crap about a second language! It wasn't my fault to put myself in this situation. Obviously I can enjoy my joyful life back home and get good grades on all the papers. But well yea I've chosen this road toward my future myself, complains denied. this shades a light onto the social appreciation thing (once upon a time a TA seveerely critisized the phrase "social appreciation", marked it awkward). We are humans, so we judge things. We will, either consciously or subconsciously, look down upon the things that is being done poorly and praise for good works. I used to have this mindset in pursuing of success. But now as my situation changed I found out I was placed in the "bad" category. I ain't no loser! man, give me a break! as I yelled I found myself in the mindset of "A Q" a chinese fictional character who obtained the ability to "success spiritually" but never suceed in real life. Yes it turns out to be a rather complicated question on what is good or bad. There are always people on top of you and meanwhile people below you. Hedonists and stuck-up lads see the people in the lower; pessimists see the people above them; existentialists don't give a crap. haha, what then, is about me? Where can I acquire my motivation from?

Good thoguhts, keep working on it. Humans are zoon politikon, we need to share every bits of thoghut to friends, that's the reason of this blog. I would definitely gain my confidence from friends. There will be a short presentation on existentialism and daoism in above and hour and a half. I'm going to prepare a little bit for it. It's short, so I can't say a lot.