圣瓦伦汀节随笔

this is an old festival that derived from long ago. a st.valentine's day is too much of an appearance, let's rather talk about love here, since this day is just an excuse for doing something to celebrate love. Love here I mean lover's love, which I had never ever possessed. I fell in love terribly hopelessly last year, and I don't think it's inappropriate to talk about it now. Used to avoid it, now I need to face it. The love, which was marked my first atempt in my life, has failed at the beginning. I feel sad about it once in a while and it is becaue of this I realized the power of love and how unpredictable it could be. It reavealed every flaw of me in front of my eyes, some of which I used to deny all the time. Aye...

One thing after is that I discovered my lack of confidence. I am an idealist, I promote the dream I dreamed yet sometimes it is taken in action more on the "against the current world" position rather than "live in the new lifestyle" position. the previous sentence sounds awkward but let me explain. As being an asian guy I always critisize the american stereotype of weak, shy, etc. And I didn't believe it. But why is it so infectious that it sometimes took my confidence away. Before today, I never thought of I can get to know some girl without racial barrier and never thoguht if there's anygirl who would fall for me. Now, I stand on my own self. I am who I am, I am a human being.

Too much of tangent away from the love topic, let's go back to love. I thought I would write this entry in chinese but voila there's this english version. about this particular girl, hmm, I feel sad for not be able to share a love with her but now, I would like to wish her to have love filled with her life. can't forget her, for my life.

Men live through the hardship and become stronger. 在这日子里找回自信，我向圣瓦伦汀老头也致敬咯。谁知道他知不知道自己的名字会被用来命名情人节？