Passion

I've been searching for my passion. Not that I;ve lost it or never had it. I have it, but it's just hiding too deep inside of me which made me could not make a use of it in my actions. The environment, daily routines do stupefy our feelings. Today I just woke up in the middle of the night thinking what have I done in binghamton. there was none that I feel satisfied. But this time in the middle of the night is the time I can be with my truely self: stripped down all my masks which I wear to deal with the daily routines, some of which are rotten.

Getting to know and reevaluate youself is not easy. I do trasure this moment. I thought of China, and the reason I came to america, and what my ideals are, and how to pursue my ideals step by step.. Meanwhile I was talk with several close friends who supported me all the way through. After those rejections of college entrance and a sort-of-fantasy love at the end of last semster I lost all my confidence which I buildt up from scratch these two years in america, and lost the direction of life. Now I realized accpeting what happend inthe past and have a smile to it, thinking those are the experiences one has to go through to become stronger is the right attitude and it will work. Good luck to myself. I need to show more of my true self in daily life now.